Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

You are like me, then.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

What are some things that normal people do that religious people call sins?

Be who you already are.

It’s here now, writing to you.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

As an atheist don't you really feel fear for committing sins which are not violating national laws?

The sadness was still there.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Is it common for female doctors to examine male patients without another nurse present? Is there a difference in protocol for nurses and physician assistants?

I was tired of trying and failing.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

It’s still here.

Why am I always so tired, no matter how much I sleep?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Have you made a female relative or friend squirt?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

I had run out of hope.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

New species of dinosaur discovered that 'rewrites' T.rex family tree - BBC

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

What happens when you need emergency surgery in countries with universal healthcare vs the US?

I was tired of fighting.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Did Muhammad Ali ask Dundee to cut his gloves off before Eddie Futch stopped the fight in Thrilla in Manila?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Why does my vagina smell sort of fishy/musty days after sex when my boyfriend ejaculates in me? There isn’t any itching or burning when urinating, so I don't think I have BV. It just doesn't smell like me.

And the sadness?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.